13 Things
by Nikkette
Summary: Tony starts to notice some things. Cute little scenes and snippets of the thirteen things the genius playboy billionaire philanthropist notices about Loki and Pepper's newly formed relationship, and the humorous impact it makes on his home life when you share a roof with such an unconventional couple. Fluffy and funny. FrostSpice (LokixPepper)
1. Tony Notices

**A/N: Ugh, I really shouldn't be writing this. I've already got another story up for Hunger Games that needs finishing, and on top of that I told myself I would never have two stories in progress up at once. But, here I am :/**

**I've wanted to write a LokixPepper story for a while now, especially because it's one of my favorite pairings and there's plenty of FrostSpice fans out there with little to no fanart or fanfiction to enjoy of them. So, I'm remedying that.**

**I rewrote this thing at least twice before I was happy with it, but at least I'm finally comfortable with how it flows now. This chapter is in Tony's POV, but I plan for the others to be in JARVIS's. We'll see.**

**This story is based off of a really cute meme I found on tumblr that someone made for Pepper and Loki as a couple. It was basically just a chart of answered questions about how their relationship would function, I. E, who would cook, how often would they fight, who started the relationship, etc. SO THE CREDIT GOES TO THEM FOR MAKING IT.**

**NOTE: In this story, Pepper and Tony were never in a relationship. Just saying.**

**I hope you enjoy it, but even if you don't, at least you had something to do for a half hour (or however long it is you decide to spend on this thing).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers. Or Marvel.**

* * *

Chapter one: Tony Notices...~

* * *

So Tony started to notice some things.

First off, Pepper was blushing. A lot. She never blushed. Ever.

In fact, he couldn't recall the last time she'd even been on a date. Her life centered- no, _revolved_, around him. He was Tony Stark. And she was his right hand man.

Er, girl.

Assistant.

Whatever.

Anyway, the second thing he noticed was that it wasn't because of him. He was a renowned playboy (that was just a fact) so it wouldn't surprise him if she blushed at any and all compliments (and there were many) that were thrown her way. He couldn't help it if she was susceptible to his charms.

But unfortunately, this wasn't the case.

Which leads us to the third thing he'd noticed. The cause of all of these things, these odd changes in Pepper's behavior, was a demi-god. And not just any demi-god, mind you. The god of Mischief. Loki, brother of Thor.

You see, ever since Loki had moved into the Tower so the Avengers could keep a closer eye on him, Pepper had been acting...strange.

At first he thought nothing of it. He just figured that all of the blushing and stuttering and distractedness was just her finally beginning to notice his good looks and natural charm.

Again, this wasn't the case.

As Tony began to pay more attention, he realized that Pepper's attentions to the God of Mischief were reciprocated. It started with a 'thank you' here, or a 'you're welcome' there, with the occasional compliment or courtesy of holding the door.

But then they started going out.

Not romantically, mind you. But apparently Pepper trusted him enough to let him out of the house.

Tony always had Happy accompany them when he was too busy to chaperone.

He didn't expect anything to _happen_, of course. He was just..._concerned_, for Pepper's well-being. God knows he didn't want to have to leave in the middle of an 'important' meeting because his assistant had been kidnapped and held hostage.

But she was never captured. And Loki always came back. And Happy never had anything bad to report (no matter how much he wanted to).

In fact, it made Tony suspicious.

Or paranoid.

Or suspicious _and_ paranoid. Whichever you prefer.

It irked him that Pepper was getting along so _swimmingly_ well with Earth's Greatest Foe.

What was wrong with _him?_ Why didn't _they_ hang out more? He was Tony Stark! He was Mr. Upbeat, Mr. Funny. He was the life of every party! Parties were dead without him! They ceased to exist! There _were_ no parties without Tony Stark!

...Wait. We're going off topic. Again. Sorry about that.

Uh, anyway, yes, Pepper and Loki. Was he the only one that thought their names together sounded like kitchen spices? Okay, off topic. So with the random, spontaneous shopping trips came some..._interesting_ developments.

Apparently she was rubbing off on him, because Loki started dressing differently. Gone was the golden-horned helmet thingy and the plated armor and cape. Now he wore only suits. And Tony hated to admit it but he wore them well. Hell, even better than _he_ did.

Wait, no. Erase that.

Uh, anyway, he couldn't remember when, exactly, but it wasn't long after that that they came out as a couple. And it was really weird, too, because none of the other Avengers seemed half as shocked as Tony was, and _he_ had even seen it coming.

Not Steve, not Natasha, not Bruce. Hell, even _Thor_ was okay with it. In fact, he seemed proud of his little brother for hooking up with an exotic 'Earth woman'.

But none of the points mentioned above freaked Tony out. They unsettled him, yes, but they didn't freak him out.

No, it was the things he started noticing _after_ their boyfriend/girlfriend status became 'official', the cute little 'couples habits' as Bruce liked to call them, that began to appear, and apparently came 'scientifically naturally' with every relationship.

It wouldn't have bothered Tony so much if he just didn't have to _live_ with it.

Unfortunately, though, no matter how large Stark Tower was, they were still three individuals under one roof, and one person's private life became the other two's. Or rather, one _couple's_ private life became the other _one's_. Whatever.

Don't know what he's talking about?

Well then, just let JARVIS take you back to all the little 'moments' Tony's had the displeasure of walking in on.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was just over two pages long. There will be a total of 14 chapters in this story (including this one) and each one will focus on a different aspect of their relationship, as seen through the eyes of JARVIS, since he's the one that records everything.**

**I may have an epilogue that sums up Tony's feelings about all this, but I'm not sure yet.**

**Feel free to drop a review. I always read them, good or bad.**

**If you're a FrostSpice fan and have an idea for a PepperxLoki story (or just an unpopular Pepper pairing. Like, say, PepperxSteve), don't hesitate to leave a suggestion in said review!**

**Unless of course you'd rather just write it yourself. That's perfectly fine, too. In which case I would love to read it. **

** If you do leave a suggestion, though, please know that I don't write M rated stuff. We ain't havin' nunna dat XD**

**Not sure when I'll update this again. Surely within the next month, but that's not to say I won't update sooner with a loving review from a fellow FrostSpice fan :) I do intend to finish this, however. And I'm not going to wait a year to do it *insert determined emoticon here***

**'Til next time!**


	2. Who Cooks Normally

**A/N: Well, here's the 'official' first chapter with some actual FrostSpice interaction. Again, through the eyes of Tony. Well, JARVIS. Tony's POV through JARVIS's eyes. If that makes sense...whatever. I tried to make it funny, but I'll let you be the judge of that.**

**Anyway, here's the first 'prompt' of sorts that was in the tumblr meme for the PepperxLoki relationship:**

**Q: Who cooks normally?**

**A: Pepper. Loki will only do it when he's in the mood.**

**Try to visualize this chapter as a series of screens and recordings, since this is, after all, told through JARVIS with Tony's POV. **

**ALSO, each line break in the chapters represents JARVIS switching to a different 'scene' or camera feed.**

**I hope Tony's POV was suitable in the last chapter. He's my favorite Avenger and I tried to write him well.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.**

* * *

Chapter Two: Who Cooks Normally~

* * *

Date: 05/06/13

Time: 6:52 p.m.

Tony pushed away from his desk, rolling back in his chair to look down the hall.

He could see the steamy aroma wafting into the work room.

He stared at it for a moment, obviously wondering what it was.

"What the hell...?" He muttered.

Without further ado, Tony spun out of his chair and walked curiously down the hall, swinging around the corner and disappearing.

* * *

Tony trotted up to the living room, coming to stand at the top of the staircase and pausing to relocate the stream of smells hanging in the air.

Upon spotting said smells, he snapped his fingers and strode into the room beyond.

* * *

Tony walked into the grand kitchen of Stark Tower, closing his eyes and inhaling the mouthwatering mystery scent that was now stronger than ever.

Smiling, he took another deep breath, and opened his eyes to reveal...

_Pepper?_

* * *

Dropping his smile, Tony paused in the doorway and cautiously asked, "...Pepper?"

The woman in question turned at the sound of her name, coming out of whatever daze she was in.

"Yes, Mr. Stark?" She asked expectantly as she absent mindedly stirred her concoction.

Tony held a hand up. "Pepper, we've been through this. Call me Tony."

She smiled. "Yes, Mr. Stark."

He made a face.

Rolling her eyes, she gave in. "Yes,_ Tony._"

He clapped his hands. "_Finally!_ Now was that so hard?"

Stepping closer, Tony spared a careful glance at what she was making.

Seeing his obvious curiosity, Pepper moved over to let him get a better look.

"It's Italian beef stew. See?"

Peering curiously into the beaming brass pot, Tony took another generous whiff of tonight's dinner.

"Since when do _you cook?"_

"Since JARVIS was kind enough to show me the useful advantages of the cooking channel through Stark Satellites."

Right.

He sighed. "You're the best, Pep. I've been in the work room since six and as I'm _sure_ you can imagine, I'm about as starved as a hobo in a desert."

He gave her a rough but friendly pat on the back, pausing when he noticed her flinch.

"...Pepper?"

She remained silent, instead choosing to chew on her lip nervously.

He tried again. "Come on, Pep. What's up? Or in your case down?"

She continued to stir the food, making a 'yikes' face as she replied, "Well, it's...not really for _you_."

* * *

He blinked. "...I'm sorry, _what?_"

She shifted her weight to one foot. "I wasn't really making it for-"

"Because I'm _certain_ that I just heard you say this wasn't for me."

"That's because it's not-"

"_Me_. The guy that has a net worth of over one _billion dollars_."

"I-"

"The guy that's been working his _ass_ off since six this morning. With no breaks?"

"...Well-"

"The guy that just so _happens_ to OWN the very tower we're standing in?"

"Tony, please, quit the theatrics-"

"And YOU'RE telling me-"

"Tony-"

"That there will _be_ no 'banquet' for the master of the house?"

"Tony, no! I'm just saying that-"

"Oh, no. No dinner for Tony. Lets just..._forget_ that guy. Because God _knows_ what would happen if he were properly nourished!"

"..."

"..."

"...Are you done?"

"...Yeah. Think so."

She turned back to the stew. "Great. Now, please, get out of here before-"

"Before what?" A new voice quipped.

Tony and Pepper both turned to face the doorway, surprised to see the figure standing coolly just beyond the kitchen.

* * *

"Oh, you're back!" Pepper exclaimed, running to go and hug Tony's former arch nemesis.

Tony felt the breeze that her hair left whip against his cheek, and he brought a hand up to cover an eye that had been whiplashed by one of her sharp strands.

Pepper spoke again. "Oh, I didn't think you'd be back so early!"

Loki smiled, holding her close. "Yes, well, Happy was insistent that we cut our trip short on the grounds that he had an emergency of some sort."

Pepper pulled away from him with a confused expression. "Emergency? Well, is he okay?"

"_Gah_...I'm sorry. What?"

The couple turned to look at Tony, who was nursing his left eye.

Loki opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a rather loud flushing sound coming from outside the kitchen.

Moments later, Happy emerged in the hallway, resting against the doorway to the kitchen as he wiped his forehead.

Tony was the first to speak. "...Happy? You okay?"

It took him a moment to answer. "...Whew, oh, yeah. I'm good..._Now_, anyways."

"_That_ was your emergency?" Pepper asked, eyebrow raised.

He waved her off. "Mall bathrooms are disgusting. And might I add, _very_ weak."

"Great goin', bud. Way to ruin an appetite," Tony said, lips pursed.

Happy nodded. "Thank you, sir."

He walked away, and an awkward silence fell over the remaining three.

Tony clapped his hands together.

"O-_kay_. So what's for dinner?"

* * *

Pepper stared at her dinner plate, awkwardly poking at her food.

Loki stared at her from the other end of the table, shifting his gaze from her to their unwanted 'guest'.

Tony scarfed down the morsels on his plate, constantly clanking his fork against the expensive colored hand-blown glass.

He momentarily paused in his actions, as if only just remembering that he wasn't alone, and briefly looked between the two individuals at either end of the table before clearing his throat and striking up a conversation.

"So, Loki," he started, wiping his mouth as the demigod turned his attention to him. "What _were_ you doing at the mall with Happy?"

Loki smiled. "Pepper had asked me to fetch some candles and a centerpiece for the table. But I can see now that it was just a ploy to get me out of the house long enough for her to do all this."

He smiled wider as he looked to Pepper, and she in turn blushed and looked back down at her plate.

"Oh, come on. It wasn't _completely_ pointless. The table looks wonderful." She said humbly.

Tony swallowed another bite of his food. "Uh, yeah. It does. And, if you don't mind my saying, Pepper, so does the food."

She beamed. "Thank you, Tony!"

He smiled, and he could see Loki bristle in his peripheral vision.

Loki cleared his throat. "Yes, well. The food may look wonderful, but _you_, my dear Pepper, look _splendid_."

The red haired woman beamed even brighter, and Tony couldn't help but think of how much she looked as if she were glowing in the evening light.

She looked like the sun.

At night.

...Wait, no, that would just make it day.

Hell, she could probably_ be_ the sun if she wanted to.

...Or if Loki just used his magic and made her one.

* * *

Tony bit the inside of his cheek, making an unsavory sound as he dug out a stray piece of food with his tongue.

He turned to Loki. "So that's what this is? We're..._competing_ now for Pepper's attention? Because if you ask me, that's pretty lame."

Loki placed an arm on the table, looking down at his half-eaten plate as he chuckled humorously.

"I assure you, Mr. Stark, that that is _not_ what's happening here-"

"Really? Because it looks that way to me."

His fist clenched.

"Yes, well, I don't particularly _care_ how it 'looks' to you-"

"Have you ever noticed you say that when you don't know what to say?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about-"

"'Yes, _well_,'_ I_ happen to know _exactly_ what I'm 'tawking' about," Tony said, mocking his British-like Asgardian accent and placing a dignified hand on his chest.

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed, slamming her fork onto her plate.

His hands flew above his head in defense. "What! I'm just saying that he says 'yes' and 'well' a lot! I'm not tryin'a _hack_ on the guy-"

"Really? Because it looks that way to me...And that's NOT true!"

"Pft! What are ya _talkin_' about, he starts every _sentence_ that way!"

"_Tony_-" Pepper interrupted. "I think you should leave."

He looked at her, flabbergasted. "I- wha- bu...it's MY house!"

Pepper gripped her fork so tight it looked as though she might hurl it at him, and Loki merely looked on, amused by the turn of events.

And then Happy walked in.

* * *

"Hey, has anybody noticed that we're out of-"

"_Not_ now, Happy," Pepper cut in, resting her head against her fingers as she placed her elbows on the table.

Seeing the obvious tension that was in the room, Happy appeared to have gotten the message.

"Oh...okay, then. Lemme just get outta here before I _suffocate_..."

Happy retreated, and Tony twisted around in his chair to call after him in a fake British accent.

"What's wrong, Happy? Can you not _see_ the tension that's just, _floating_ about the room?"

Apparently that was the last straw for Pepper.

"Okay, you know what? Out."

Tony turned back around to face her. "Out?"

_"Out."_ She repeated, looking at him firmly.

All three of them went silent.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Need I remind you that this is my house?"

"URGH!"

* * *

Pepper shot up from her seat, and Tony scrambled out of his chair and grabbed the closest thing he could for self-defense, which happened to be a fork.

Loki stood up from his place across the table, and for the longest second it seemed as though _anything_ terrible or disastrous could have happened.

And then Pepper started to cry.

She let out a little sniffle, and Tony's fork faltered for a moment.

It was dead-quiet for a while afterwards, the only audible sound coming from Pepper's throat.

Tony brought down his fork. "Hey, Pep, come on, I didn't..."

But he never got to finish that sentence.

Pepper shook her head and held up a hand to stop him from coming any closer, and finally, she ran away.

* * *

Both men watched her go, and Loki's voice echoed in the room.

"Oh, _lovely_ going, Mr. Stark. _Brilliantly_ done. I'll be sure to remember that the _next_ time I wish to date an Earth woman."

Tony was silent.

Loki slowly walked over to the now defeated playboy, placing a hand on his shoulder in fake consolidation.

"We should _all_ take notes from you, Stark. You're a _model_ to behold. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an upset companion to console."

He walked away, his footsteps reverberating off the walls as he left Tony to lie in his mess.

* * *

Tony stood rooted in his spot for a few minutes, glancing around the now empty table and tossing his fork back onto his plate, flinching when it made a loud clang.

"Perfectly good dinner. Ruined." He muttered.

"Un. Believable."

* * *

"Pepper? You in here?"

Tony slowly opened the door to his assistant's room, only to find she wasn't there.

Puzzled, he decided to take another sweep of the bathroom to make sure she wasn't sulking by the toilet (although with Happy having been there he doubted that was the case).

As he walked down the hall he began to hear voices, and upon recognizing one of them to be female he quickened his pace, hope rising in the pit of his stomach.

Reaching the end of the hallway, Tony rounded the corner into the living room.

* * *

"Hey, Pep, I'm _really_ sorry. It's just that- OH MY GOD."

Everyone froze.

Tony held his arms out, pointing to the scene before him.

"...Okay. What the hell is going on here?"

* * *

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed, surprised to see him.

She sat cradled in Loki's arms on the plush leather couch, a plate of half burnt waffles on the _extremely_ expensive glass table in front of them.

Pepper stuttered for words. "Uh...wha- what are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you for the rest of the night."

Tony remained frozen in his spot. "I own the place. Now answer the question: what. Is going. On, here?"

Pepper and Loki exchanged glances, both clearly confused about the question.

Pepper answered first. "Um...what do you mean?"

Tony raised his arms higher, pointing more insistently at the two of them.

"...You're touching."

Pepper looked down at Loki's arms, which were wrapped around her.

"Um...yes?"

Tony continued. "...You don't touch."

She laughed. "Uh...what do you mean? Of course we-"

"You NEVER. Touch."

"...Yes we do-"

"EVER."

Sure, they had hugged back in the kitchen, but that was a _normal_ kind of touch. This was...this was just weird.

Now it was Loki's turn to laugh. "Hahaha! I believe the coming together of two individuals, or 'relationship', as you Earthlings call it, very _well_ warrants intimacy, Stark."

He looked to Pepper. "Unless Earth customs are different than those on Asgard?"

She shook her head. "Oh no. That's right."

Tony reluctantly relaxed into a standing position. "But- but you-"

"Never touch. We get it, Tony. Did you ever think that _maybe_ the reason you've never seen us 'touch' is because you're always starting _disasters?_" Pepper asked, smiling.

Tony knit his brows together in confusion.

He _supposed_ that could be a reasonable...reason.

He looked over at the plate of waffles.

"...What's this?" He pointed, walking over to pick it up.

"Loki made them for me," Pepper clarified.

He brought the plate to his nose, giving the square cakes an inspecting sniff.

"Why?"

"_Because_, Tony, he was trying to make me _feel_ better after _you_-"

He held a hand up, silencing her. "Pepper. Please. I came here to _apologize_."

She blinked, shocked at what she'd just heard. "Um...you _what?_"

Tony sagged his shoulders, throwing his head back and letting out an exaggerated groan. He sounded like a spoiled teenager.

"_God_, do you want me to _repeat_ myself? I _said_ I'm _sorry!_"

"No you didn't." Loki interjected.

He waved him off. "In a nutshell, okay?"

"Nutshell?" Loki questioned. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

"God _dammit_, Pepper."

* * *

Seeing the negative direction in which this conversation was headed, Pepper quickly sprang into action to help nullify the situation.

Turning to Loki, she explained, "It's an Earth term- er, _expression!_ It's basically just a short way of saying 'altogether'. It's a way of saying, 'to sum everything up'."

Loki's eyebrows came together in deep thought, and Tony, in his brashness and impatience, couldn't stop himself from throwing out a smart comment.

"Thinkin' _hard_ about that one, aren't ya, buddy?"

"Please, Mr. Stark, I'm trying to think."

"Right."

* * *

"Okay, so can we _all_ agree on what 'nutshell' means?" Tony asked, still standing by the glass table and burnt waffles.

Loki thought for a long moment. "...I think so."

"...Pepper, can you say 'lightbulb'?"

"Tony, that's enough."

* * *

Tony crawled into the covers of his King sized bed, still trying to process the turn of events the day had taken.

It was so exhausting having Loki in the house, let alone _living_ with the guy.

He lie down on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"My God, what is happening to me?" He whispered to himself.

"I believe your vital signs are up to par, sir," JARVIS piped up.

He waved it off. "You know what I mean, JARVIS. I'm talking about _them_."

"I beg your pardon, sir? Do you mean Loki and Miss Potts?"

"No, Santa Claus and the _Tooth Fairy,_" he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Well, sir, you will be happy to know that they are merely slumbering in the next room-"

"JARVIS? Just turn out the lights."

"As you wish, sir."

The dim lights of Tony's room were put out in an instant, and, letting out a huge sigh, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: If you think it's a little ridiculous Tony could have been up since 6 in the morning and worked the whole day without any food, trust me, it's possible. When you're in the zone, neither the passage of time nor the growling of your stomach will make a difference to you.**

**I really like both FrostSpice _and_ IronSpice, so there will be bits of both in this fanfic (though granted, FrostSpice will be the dominant bit).**

**I had _planned_ on this being really short and sweet, not some long, drawn out _monster _that's 2,987 words long...oh, well, I guess 0.0 **

**Anyway, I hope you liked it. Go ahead and drop a review if you want. I'll try and update soon.**

**'Til next time!**


	3. How Often They Fight

****A/N: Well, I'm back. Sorry if it seems like I took too long, but I'm here now XD  
****

****Here is the second prompt:****

****Q: How often do they fight?****

****A: Try 60% of the time.****

****Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.****

* * *

Chapter three: How Often They Fight~

* * *

Date: 05/23/13

Time: 11:47 a.m.

Tony rested his elbows on his desk, running his hands through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh.

He could hear the raised voices coming from upstairs.

It had been over an _hour_ and they were still going at it.

Again.

Tony clasped his hands together, bringing them up to rest just underneath his nose.

He sighed again.

"God _dammit_..."

He sat in his chair a few moments more, trying to calm himself.

Another loud noise, this time a crash.

That was it.

It was time to take action.

Without another word, Tony swiveled out of his chair and marched upstairs, all but stomping on every step.

* * *

When he reached the living room, his jaw almost dropped.

The place was a wreck.

The black leather sofas were misplaced (one of them was flipped over), various dvds and bits of Tony's music collection had been relieved of their places on the shelf at the end of the room and were now strewn across the floor, and the glass table that sat in the center of the room - that unbelievably _expensive_ glass table - was now shattered.

And for some unknown reason, the perpetrators were nowhere in sight.

Tony raised a finger at his dvds.

"Okay,_ that_ wasn't where I left it."

He heard a crash coming from the kitchen and made a move to go over and investigate, only to find the God of Mischief stalking out of said room and back into the living area, Pepper not far behind.

* * *

"Loki, calm _down!_ It's NOT that big of a deal!"

Tony watched as Pepper tried to console her significant other.

_Un-_successfully.

"I am _sorry_, but I will NOT be swayed! That THING must go! I _refuse_ to be in the same room as that _blasted_-"

"_Stop_ it! That's _no_ way to-"

"To what?" Loki asked smartly, whirling around to face her. "Act like an _Earthen teenager?_ Like _Stark?_"

"Hey!" Tony cut in.

Pepper sighed frustratedly, running a hand through her hair.

"_What_ is your problem?!"

Loki seemed taken aback. He scoffed. "My 'problem', dear Pepper, is that I am _trapped_ here on this _forsaken_ planet with utterly _useless_ devices, _ridiculous_ clothing, limited magic, _Stark_, and-"

He stopped himself, realizing a little too late what was about to fly from his lips.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to matter.

Pepper put the pieces together quite quickly.

* * *

"And_ me?_ Is_ that_ what you were going to say?"

Loki was silent, and for the first time since Tony had known him, the mischievous god fumbled for words.

"I...Pepper, please-"

"_No!_ No, I don't_ think_ so! In fact, I-" she paused, turning to Tony. "Tony, could you please leave?"

The man in question snorted a scoff. _"Me?"_

She nodded impatiently. "Yes, y_ou_."

"Well I could, but from the looks of things I'd have to come back in ten years."

Pepper threw her hands up in defeat, and Loki shot him a quizzical look.

All was silent, aside from the tense air that screamed at them.

And then Loki spoke.

"...Why?"

Pepper and Tony simultaneously turned toward the Asgardian, both with disbelieving looks on their faces.

Tony spoke first.

"Why_ what?_"

He was quick to answer. "Why must you wait a decade to return?"

Pepper groaned, and Tony reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Oh my God..."

* * *

After Loki's obliviousness to Earth 'sarcasm', Tony had hoped that things between the demigod and his assistant would simmer down.

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

"I just don't understand what's so hard about-"

"Please, I _beg_ of you, do _not_ finish that sentence."

"Why not? It's just a-"

"NO! Do_ not_ say that word!"

"..."

"..."

"...Toaster."

"GAH, I cannot stand it any longer! I am leaving!"

"Well good! Because I don't really wanna talk to you right now, either!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

Loki turned and stalked away, tossing one more retort out for good measure.

"I do not wish to see you for the remainder of the _night!_"

Pepper was quick to reply. "Well I hope I never have to see you for the remainder of my _life!_"

When she received no comeback, she let out a loud and frustrating 'urgh' and stomped off in the opposite direction, leaving Tony to stand in the aftermath.

"Aw, come on, guys, let's not go to bed angry."

He called after them, but his attempts at lightening the mood went unheard.

* * *

Tony crept down the hall of Stark Tower, trying his best to keep quiet.

He stopped at his desired destination, and he tentatively reached out to turn the doorknob-

"I can't recommend you do that, sir."

Tony let out a _barely_ strangled gasp, his hand flying up to clutch the plate in his chest.

"Good _God_, JARVIS, what are you doing here?"

"I am always 'here', sir. You installed me into every facet of the tower-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I mean what are you doing_ here_, spying on me? Shouldn't you be looking after tall, dark, and brooding?"

"If by 'tall, dark, and brooding' you are referring to the God of Mischief, Loki, then you will be happy to know that I am simultaneously watching him _and_ you, sir."

Tony sighed, annoyed.

"Yeah, well,_ stop_ watching me. It's my tower, for God's sakes."

"I apologize, sir. I merely wished to warn you about miss Potts."

Now his interest was piqued.

"Pepper? What about her?"

"She is just in the room beyond, and is not in the best of moods, sir."

"No shit," Tony rolled his eyes.

He reached for the doorknob again, only to find that it was locked.

"JARVIS, open the damn door."

"I am sorry, sir, but I cannot do that."

"And why the hell not?"

"As I said, sir, miss Potts is in a foul mood and does not wish to be disturbed."

He jiggled the handle again, more forcefully this time, giving up when he heard movement in the room beyond.

Pepper probably thought some pervert was trying to break into her room.

Tony could only direct his anger at JARVIS.

"I hate you."

"I know, sir."

* * *

Tony had gone back to his work station for the rest of the day, deciding it would be best if he 'let both parties cool down before deciding to converse with them', as JARVIS had so _eloquently_ put it.

It was now 8:30, and now that JARVIS had deemed it a 'suitable time' to go check on Pepper, he had every intention of doing so.

Giving his latest invention one last tweak, Tony bounced up from his chair and skipped out of the basement and up the stairs, eagerness in his steps.

* * *

When Tony reached her bedroom door, he didn't hesitate knocking his knuckles against the cool wood surface, ears pricking as he listened for movement.

"Pep? You in there?"

From the room beyond, she answered without hesitation.

"Um, yeah. Tony, come- come on in."

She held a slight sniffle to her voice, and he could tell that she was still upset, but he wasn't about to wait around for an engraved invitation, either.

Giving the doorknob a successful twist, Tony opened the door to his assistant's room and poked his head inside.

* * *

Pepper stared at him strangely.

"...What are you doing?"

Tony's eyes shifted around the room.

"Making sure it's _safe_."

Her eyes flew to the ceiling and she let out a breathy chuckle.

"Don't worry, the area is secure."

Satisfied, he stepped into her room, silently closing the door behind him.

They stood there for a few moments, silently, awkwardly, until Tony decided to speak.

"So...you okay?"

She looked at him, shocked so much as to stumble over her words.

"Uh- I uh- w- what? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

Tony nodded. "Oh. Well good."

She made a sound of agreement, nodding as well.

They stood in silence.

For a very. Long. Time.

* * *

Tony clapped his hands together, causing Pepper to jump.

"O-_kay. _I guess we're good."

"Wha- we are?" Pepper asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yep. I just needed to know that...all _this,_" he made a swirling motion with his hands. "Wasn't going to affect your work ethic. After all, I may only hire the prettiest, but I only pay the best."

Pepper blinked, unsure if she should interpret his comment as a compliment or not.

"Wa- was that all you wanted?" She asked, tilting her head.

He looked to the ceiling in thought.

"Um...yeah."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Yep. Just checkin' in on my favorite assistant."

"I'm your_ only_ assistant."

"Exactly."

* * *

With nothing more to say, Tony turned to leave. He grasped the doorknob to make his exit, but at the very last millisecond decided against it.

He turned back around, pointing a purposeful finger at Pepper.

"I know it's none of my business, but I _gotta_ ask-"

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"I knew it..."

"-_what_ was Loki so mad about?"

"You mean you didn't hear _already_ when we were all in the living room?" She asked, face scrunched up in distaste.

Clearly, she didn't want to talk about it. Too bad Tony didn't particularly care at the moment.

As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

"Oh, I _heard_," he said. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to get my _ears_ checked."

Pepper said nothing, but her change in demeanor and the way she began to shift her weight and stare at the floor told him that he was most likely-

"A toaster."

-_insane?_

* * *

Tony raised his pinky to clean out his ear.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right, uh...did you just say _toaster?_"

She nodded. "Yep."

"A toaster? Caused all this?" He asked, unconvinced, motioning around the room with his index finger.

She blushed. "...Yes."

"As in a shiny electric device?"

"Yeah."

"That cooks toast? A God damned _kitchen appliance?_"

"...Yes?"

Tony put his hands together under the tip of his nose in a mock-praying position, obviously trying to give himself a moment to contain his anger while Pepper waited anxiously for him to reply.

"Are you _flipping_. _Ki__dding_ me?"

"Uh...well..._no_." She said lamely, shrugging and drawing the corner of her mouth down in a lopsided expression.

Tony closed his eyes and slowly exhaled through his nose.

"Son of bitch, Pepper."

* * *

Pepper leaped to defend herself.

"I- I was trying to show him how it worked and he...well, you saw."

"And, all of_ this_ stemmed from all of _that?_" Tony asked, making crazy motions with his hands.

"Well, I probably could have been a bit more courteous, but I kind of...snapped after..._he_ snapped," she sheepishly admitted, scratching her arm.

Tony let out a breath, running his hands over his eyes.

Pepper, upon seeing the obvious stress the situation was putting on him (as well as her), silently sighed and walked over to her bed and sat down, giving up on her facade.

"Oh, Tony, I don't know what to _do,_" she threw her hands up. "I mean, one minute things are going _great_ and-"

"And he's Superman with the wind at his back and you're Lois Lane?" Tony finished smartly, giving a slight chuckle.

Pepper shot him a look, obviously trying to be stern, but she ended up laughing despite herself.

"_No,_ I- haha, well, yes - _Exactly!_ And _stop_ referencing rap songs! I'm gonna _kill_ you..." she lost herself in a fit of laughter, and she fell back onto the bed, her body convulsing with giggles.

Tony moved to the opposite side of the bed and laid down, his head stopping to rest just beside Pepper's as he stared at the ceiling and listened to her laughter die down.

"...I don't know, Tony," she said after a while, her eyes fresh with tears from her laughing spree. "I love him, I really do. But..."

She sighed.

"Sometimes I just wonder if it's all worth it..."

Tony turned his head to look at her. She was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought and obviously waiting for an answer.

He studied the side of her face while he internally debated with himself.

He wasn't good at giving advice, let alone _taking_ it, and he honestly didn't know what help he could be to the distressed woman laying beside him, if any, but he knew he had to try.

Any answer was better than none.

Giving his lungs a hearty exhale, Tony turned his head back towards the ceiling.

"Well if you ya ask _me_," he began, and Pepper's face turned toward his. "That guy's mind is not merely twisted, but actually_ sprained_. I'd drop 'im like a hot tamale."

She looked down and pursed her lips, noiselessly sighing.

"But," he continued, and her bright blue eyes held hope. "I guess if you like..._whatever_ it is that you _see_ in him, then...I'm in no position to argue. If you really love the guy then go for it. But, please; leave my toaster alone."

Her eyebrows twitched.

"Did...did you just give me helpful _advice_, Tony Stark?" She asked with an open-mouthed smile.

"I told you, Pep; I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to start seeing things my way."

* * *

Tony collapsed on his bed, exhausted by the day's events.

He lay face down, head buried in one of his plush pillows, and sighed long and loud.

Slowly, he turned over.

"Am I _insane_ for thinking that those two are gonna end up an old married couple?" He wondered aloud to himself.

"Not at all, sir." JARVIS replied.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. No one asked you."

"Sir, I feel I must remind you that I am programmed to reply to any and all unanswered quest-"

"Ah, ah! Zip it."

"...Yes, sir."

Tony sighed again, wondering how on _Earth_ he was going to stay alive for the next forty years when his two 'house guests' were wearing wrinkles into his face faster than should be physically possible when put under stress.

"They are going to be the death of me...I swear. Death."

He stared up at the ceiling, crossing his hands over his stomach as he was hit with a nauseating sense of déja vu.

"...May I speak now, sir?" JARVIS suddenly asked.

Sighing yet again, Tony answered,

"Yeah. Sure, JARVIS."

"If you don't mind my saying, sir, I believe it would be vital to keep good relations with the demigod Loki. Nerve scans indicate that he has been very unsettled and overly stressed as of late, and it would not be wise to upset him any further than miss Potts is already capable of managing-"

"JARVIS? Could you put that in a folder and entitle it 'Shit I Already Know'?"

"Of course, sir."

"Great."

Tony clapped his hands and the lights went out, and eventually he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**09/03/2014**

**I updated this chapter, added some things and took some away, hopefully for the better. But I'll let you be the judge of that. T****he rap song Tony was referencing was Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem. I also hope I got Pepper's eye color right. I remember them being blue, but I could be wrong. If you spotted any typos, tell me so I can fix them.**

* * *

**A/N: Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. I'll try and update again, SOONER this time, but I am rather busy this week :P**

**Up next is: What they do when they're away from each other.**

**Also, I've got a really funny/cute idea for a PepperxThor (SpiceHammer...?) fic, and I think I'll be writing and posting it soon. I like that pairing, but the idea I have in mind is really more funny than romantic, so check back at my profile often over the next few days if you'd like, I'd really appreciate hearing what you think of it, good or bad :)**

**'Til next time!**


	4. What They Do When Away From Each Other 1

**A/N: I deeply apologize for taking so long to update. August flew by fast. **

**Renne Michaels, you said in your review that the flow of the last chapter was off compared to the other two, and I agree. I tend to do that, I've noticed; I'll write a few good short chapters or a couple good long ones, and then I swerve off course into an off-kilter mess. It's unintentional, of course, and I do have a remedy for it, but it still happens every so often. I actually rewrote chapter 3 a bit, and you can go back and read it to see if it's better or worse if you want. Thank you for your review, it was insightful but not mean-spirited, and for that I'm grateful :)**

**Hyne, I really love your reviews. They're supporting and positive, but at the same time they hold a certain poise to them. Also, thank you for your review on The Pen Is Mightier Than The Hammer. Although it was meant to be a oneshot and I don't plan on continuing it, I do have another PepperxThor story up and posted that is multi-chapter, and you are more than welcome to give it a read :)**

**Here is the third prompt:**

**Q: What do they do when they're away from each other?**

**A: Pepper absorbs herself in her work while Loki tends to brood if he doesn't have a good book or movie.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.**

* * *

Chapter Four: What They Do When They're Away From Each Other, Pt. 1~

* * *

Date: 05/30/13

Time: 4:37 p.m.

Pepper sat at her desk, resting her head against her hand as she tried to ignore the annoying man sitting across from her as she attempted to do her work.

Tony Stark sat unceremoniously in one of the two chairs in front of Pepper's desk, his right foot resting on his left knee as he clicked and unclicked a pen he had taken from his shirt pocket.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick-

"Will you STOP that, please!" Pepper barked, and the clicking stopped.

She sighed. "THANK you..."

She turned back to her work, thankful for the quiet.

...

...

...

Tap.

* * *

Pepper closed her eyes, willing the horrible sound of Tony tapping his pen against his knee - _repeatedly_ \- to go away.

Unfortunately, will alone could not get the task done.

Taptaptaptaptap-

"For the _LOVE_ of _GOD_, Tony! _What is it?!_"

Tony's face visibly brightened.

"_Finally!_ I thought I was _never_ gonna get your attention-"

"Tony, I am really _not_ in the mood. Now _what is it?_" She snapped.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I just wanted to check up on you, see what you were doin'. Speaking of which, what _are_ you doing?"

Pepper squeezed the fountain pen she was holding, trying her best to keep it in her hand and not lodged into Tony's skull. "Well, for your _information_, I'm filling out paperwork."

"_Why?_" Tony asked, leaning over to take a peek.

"Because _you_ wouldn't _do it_," she said, becoming more and more annoyed.

Tony leaned back and sighed. "Well are you almost done?"

Pepper blinked, knitting her eyebrows together.

She scoffed. "..._What? Why?_"

"_Becaaauuse_," he whined, hanging his head off the back of his chair. "I'm _bored_. I wanna _do_ something. Come on, let me take you to the movies. Your pick, I don't care."

Pepper gaped at him.

Tony stared back at her, a bored look on his face. "...Well are you gonna _say_ something, or are you just gonna let that pretty little mouth of yours hang open?"

* * *

Having finally found her voice, Pepper scoffed.

Again.

"Are _you_ telling _me_ that the _only reason_ you decided to come _down_ here and annoy the...CRAP out of me, was because you were _bored?_"

Tony spun around in his chair. "Yyyyep."

She scoffed again, blinking rapidly in disbelief.

"_Un-_believable," she said, bringing her hand up to smack it down on her paper-covered desk.

"So you in?" Tony asked as he made another trip around the axis of his chair.

Pepper swore she was going to toss that thing out the moment she got the chance.

* * *

"_No_, I am _not_ 'in'. Tony, I have a _ton_ of work to do."

She attempted to straighten her papers, just as Tony placed his feet on her desk and launched himself across the room on a swivel chair that might as well have been jet powered.

The force of his kick rattled her desk, and the jar full of pens she kept was knocked over in the process.

Enraged, Pepper stood up from her seat and jabbed a furious finger at him.

"THAT'S it, YOU need to leave!" She ordered. "_Right_ now. Go, _go!_ I've already got a _boatload_ of work to do, I don't need to _babysit_ you on top of everything else. _GO!_"

Tony got out of his chair, dusting off his suit as if to ward off her negative energy.

"Well, Pep," he began, straightening his jacket. "If you're willing to apologize for the blatant _disregard_ of your contract, then I'm willing to let this slide."

Pepper's mouth dropped. "Wha- ME apologize? For _what?!_ _You're_ the one messing up my stuff!"

"Well, if_ you_ would have been vigilant enough to read through your _business_ contract prior to signing up with Stark Industries, then you would in _fact_ know that it is your _job_ to cater to my every whim...and that _includes_ babysitting."

"...WHAT?!"

* * *

Tony could see from the rage in her face that he was no longer in a safe area.

Pepper took a step toward him. "Are _you_ telling _me_,"

He took a step back.

"That my _contract_ _states_,"

He took another step.

"That I am _obligated_,"

And another.

"To keep _you_ 'occupied',"

Another.

"From getting _bored?!_"

His back was to the wall now.

Pepper's face showed pure anger.

"_Get_ out of my office. _Right. Now_."

Tony swallowed.

Didn't need to tell _him_ twice.

* * *

Nearly two hours later, Tony hesitantly came to stand in front of the door leading to Pepper's office, a thin bunch of stapled pages in his hands.

He knocked.

"Come in."

She sounded sane enough.

Tony exhaled, opening the door and stepping inside.

* * *

He gave a small wave.

"Hey, Pep, what's up? How we doin'?"

"What do you want?" She asked calmly, not looking up from her work.

Closing the door softly behind him, Tony trotted up to her desk.

"You know, it took me a while to find it," he said, slapping the papers he had been holding onto her desk. "But here it is."

Pepper paused to look at it.

"What's this?" She asked, though they both already knew the answer.

"_That,_ is your contract," Tony clarified, pointing a finger at the 2-inch stack.

Making a face, Pepper reluctantly put down her pen and began sifting through the stapled pages.

"If you could just save us all some time and skip to section 3B of page 8, that'd be great," Tony said, checking his watch.

Pepper raised her head to give him a look, but did as she was told.

Pausing on the suggested page, her eyebrows scrunched together, and her head shot up in rising anger.

"There's no section 3B in my contract," she said accusingly.

Tony didn't miss a beat.

"That's the revised edition."

Looking back down at the paper, Pepper hurriedly flipped to the last page, and Tony chuckled as she found what she was looking for.

"When did I sign this? I didn't sign this!" She shrieked, her voice rising in volume.

"Oh, about two months ago, just before the whole Loki/New York thing went down. Granted, you were a little inebriated, but hey - a signature's a signature." Tony shrugged, jogging her memory.

Pepper's mouth hung open, and she leaned back in her chair and stared disbelievingly at the page in front of her.

"...Has the shock worn off yet?" Tony asked, waving a hand in front of her face.

* * *

Pepper shook her head. "I- I just can't believe I would_ sign_ something without even _looking_ at it like that..."

"Ah, those were happy times..." Tony reminisced. "Now hows about that movie?"

"I..." She had opened her mouth to retaliate, but as she glanced at her contract once more, she gave up.

"Well, I guess I _have_ to go now..."

Pepper rested her head against her hand and sighed.

It was funny to think that a relaxing pastime like the movies did nothing to make her feel less stressed.

* * *

Looking down at the stack of papers, Tony moved to sit on the corner of Pepper's desk.

"Come on, Pep, I _know_ you. What's really the problem?"

Finally at her weak point, Pepper looked up at him, her conflicting emotions swirling to a peak.

"Ugh, it's just that-"

"I know. Loki's not here."

"Well, y- yeah! And even though he _says_ he misses me and that he loves me, he's gone for _months_ at a time and I don't-"

"You have _no_ idea what he's doing or what's going on or if he's hurt and the fact that he doesn't write does little to help the matter." Tony finished.

Pepper quieted.

So much for a rant.

* * *

"Well...yeah."

"Look, it's no big deal. He's one of the most powerful beings on the _planet_, and he's with Thor. Trust me, there is no way in _Hell_ that he's injured."

Pepper opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off.

"And the reason he doesn't write is _probably_ because he's ashamed of his handwriting...and it's gay. Men don't write letters. Especially not _god_-men. And besides, I doubt if he wants to put you in danger by contacting you on a mission. And let's not forget the tighter-than-_Hell_ leash Fury has on him. I'd be surprised if he got a free phone call a _month_."

After Tony finished, Pepper was quiet.

She was deep in thought, that much was obvious. And she could certainly see the practicality of the reasons he gave, how much sense they made to her left-brained mind.

But there was still that little ounce of doubt trickling behind her eyes, and no matter how small it may have seemed, Tony knew that little ounce would win out over everything else in the end.

"...But what if-"

See?

* * *

"Pepper, _please_," Tony groaned. "You do this _every_ time Loki goes on a mission."

"...I do?" She asked, relief evident in her voice.

"_Yes_, I'm surprised you haven't _caught_ it by now. So trust me when I say there is _nothing_ to worry about."

Pepper let go of a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding, and the tension in her body suddenly melted away.

"Okay, Tony. I'm gonna go with you on this one," she said, sighing. "And..."

"Aaannd...?" Tony urged her on.

She rolled her eyes. "And I _guess_ we can go to that movie now."

Tony bounced off of her desk and threw his hands up.

"YES! Okay c'mon, I've already got your jacket and shoes waiting in the car."

He held a hand out impatiently for Pepper and she hesitantly took it, not liking just how chipper he was over something as simple as a movie.

* * *

"Wait, you had the _Ferrari_ running the _entire_ time we've been in here?" She asked, flabbergasted as he dragged her out the door and through the Tower.

"Pepper, don't be silly." Tony said as they stepped into the elevator.

He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text before stuffing it back into his pocket, and Pepper sighed in relief.

She just wanted to unwind.

She _really_ didn't want to show up at the movies in some neon sports car.

"We're taking the limo."

She barely had time to widen her eyes as she was dragged out the door.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked it, and I hope I haven't lost my touch. I ended up having to shorten the title of this chapter because FF wouldn't let me have all those characters in there :/ **

**This chapter will be split into two parts, the next obviously focusing on Loki. I had planned on having it all in one chapter, but since this one turned out so long I thought it would be best.**

**Please let me know what you think, it's great to know that there are people that like this story (and pairing, lol).**

**'Til next time!**


	5. What They Do When Away From Each Other 2

**A/N: 10/8/2014 Sorry I took so long, this story is one of my favorites (of the ones I have up) but I got caught up in other things :/ I got a keyboard for my tablet, though, which has so far been cutting my writing time in half, probably more, which is great.**

**Here is the prompt again, in case you forgot:**

**Q: What do they do when they're away from each other?**

**A: Pepper absorbs herself in her work while Loki tends to brood if he doesn't have a good book or movie.**

**You also might wanna reread the previous chapter. There are quite a few references/parallels/similarities/whatever between that one and this one.**

**Reading time for this chapter: 14 mins.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.**

* * *

Chapter five: What They Do When They're Away From Each Other pt. 2~

* * *

Tony sat boredly on one of the black leather sofas in the living room, across from the infamous god of Mischief.

Loki sat on the sofa opposite of him, arms hanging over the back as he buried the lower half of his mouth into its well-cushioned top as he stared angrily out the floor-to-ceiling windows.

"..._So_..." Tony said awkwardly, trying to start a conversation.

"_Can_ it, Stark.' Came his cold reply.

Tony shut his mouth.

"Well, o-_kay_, then..."

* * *

An hour later, Tony strode back into the living area.

He had left for a good part of the day after finally getting the hint that Loki hardly wanted- well, okay, DIDN'T want to talk, and after messing around in his workshop for a while and eventually getting bored, he decided to head back upstairs to go and see how the brooding man was doing.

He was still sitting on the couch in the exact same position he had left him, still very much pissed off, very sulky, and _very_ much not in the mood for conversation.

Not that that deterred Tony.

"So, Loki," he began, walking over to him. "I heard you're a Jotun, or something like that, right? What's that like?"

"It's like I can break _every bone_ in your _miserable_ mortal_ body_," Loki icily replied, not bothering to turn around and look at him."Now _leave_ me be, before I decide to _demonstrate_..."

"Well aren't _you_ just a little ray of emo-sunshine?" Tony muttered, amused by his choice of words.

He was about to walk out of the room again, when a sudden thought hit him.

"...Is this about Pepper?" He asked, and the broody Asgardian tensed.

Bingo.

* * *

Whenever Pepper left to go on business trips that Tony was too lazy to attend, or even decided to go to the _grocery_ store without him, Loki tended to brood.

He would become angry and sulky and irritable (more so than usual), and unless he had something to take his mind off it, the rest of the house (well, mostly Tony, but JARVIS and Happy, too) the half-god would sit somewhere in the Tower, usually somewhere secluded, and _brood_, bringing his metaphorical sulky rain clouds with him.

Tony or JARVIS could usually recommend an activity or toss him a book to read to pass the time, but he had already blown through the entire Tower's library (though granted, it was a rather small library to begin with, more for looks than anything) and no one but Pepper quite trusted him with a wireless tablet.

So, they had had to take broader, more _drastic_ measures as of late, which mostly consisted of tossing out every excuse in the book to stay out of the Tower and avoid Loki.

Tony stepped closer once more, but still kept his distance.

"So it _is _about Pepper," he mused to himself, stroking his chin. "Hmm...well, I dunno what to tell ya, buddy. Except that you look like you got mugged. And the first thing they took was your _dignity_."

He made an attempt to chuckle at his own joke, but it died when he realized there was no one laughing with him.

Even JARVIS didn't back him up on _that_ one.

Tony sighed, looking down at the floor as he decided to just go ahead and properly comfort the sulking god. "Look, buddy. She's just on a business trip. She'll be back soon, there's _nothing_ to worry about."

The raven-haired man barely twitched a muscle, and the Iron Avenger attempted to try again.

"Pepper _loves_ you. And I'm sure there's some _stupid_ yet _perfectly_ reasonable explanation for why she hasn't called yet," he said, tossing his hand up in the air to show his point.

He waited for a reply, but when none came, he decided that it would probably be best to just leave him alone like he wanted.

Tony turned to leave, but Loki's voice stopped him.

"Do you think," he said, and Tony turned around to face him. "that is truly the case?"

The billionaire scoffed. "_Please_. You're talking to the guy who's been her employer for five _years_-"

"_Six_, sir." JARVIS suddenly corrected.

Tony pursed his lips. "...Right, five or six years. Anyway, I don't _think_, I _know_. Her flight probably just got delayed or whatever. She loves you, and nothing short of the _Apocalypse_ will stop her from calling you...you know. Eventually."

Loki exhaled, long and deep, and finally gave up his pastime of glaring at the birds flying around outside the windows until they burst into flames and fell out of the sky...metaphorically, of course.

He turned to Tony, twisting around to sit more properly on the plush leather sofa, and said, "How can you be so sure she is not _falling_ from the _sky_ in one of your 'airplanes' right this moment? Or being ripped apart by some _savage_, stray _Earth_ animal? Or another _mortal?_ I know your kind. They are _dastardly._"

"Because I _know_," Tony replied big-headedly. "...That,_ and_ I've got JARVIS keeping tabs on her 24/7. You know. Simple stuff."

Loki's brow furrowed, growing angry. "You mean to tell me that your _robotic companion_ has been keeping watch over _my_-"

"_'Your'_?" Tony interrupted. "Last I checked, we shared. _Your_ love interest,_ my_ assistant and all that jazz."

Loki ignored him. "No matter...and _do_ not change the subject! You have been keeping her under surveillance _without_ her consent? Without _my_ consent?"

"Woah, woah, buddy," Tony said, holding a hand up. "First off, she signed a _contract_, which means _yes_, she _did_ give her consent. And second, this is _Earth!_ She doesn't _need_ your consent."

Loki's lip curled up into an irritated snarl, but said nothing in reply as the billionaire disappeared into the kitchen.

* * *

Tony came back out some time later with a drink in his hand, raising it to his lips and taking a sip.

"Ahh," He said, relishing as the liquid poured down his throat. "_That's_ refreshing. Anyway, where were we?"

"I was just about to blast you into _Oblivion_ and _you_ were about to let me," the demigod replied flatly.

Tony drew in the corner of his mouth, not the least bit intimidated. "Right."

He took another sip of his drink. "...Doesn't this _remind_ you of something? Something that happened...I dunno, some number of months ago? Battle of New York, perhaps? Me, drink? You, angry? Us, talking? Ring any bells? It's some _serious_ deja vu, I'm tellin' ya."

"I am warning you, Stark, if you do not yield, I will _not_ be held responsible for what I-"

"How did we get here?" Tony suddenly asked, knitting his brows and looking around the room in faux suspicion.

Loki looked at him as though he had just said something ridiculously stupid. "..._What?_"

"Here. At this point in the conversation...how did we _get_ here? Weren't we talking about something else entirely?"

"Stark, I suggest you cease to open your mouth before I-"

"No, seriously. What were we talkin' about? Do you remember? 'Cuz I don't."

"Stark, I am in _no_ mood for _games_."

"JARVIS? How did this whole thing start?" Tony asked, to which the personal AI quickly responded,

"One, moment, sir."

He rewound the conversation they had been having, stopping the audio near the beginning.

"I believe the topic of origin was miss Potts, sir."

"Thanks, JARVIS," Tony said. "Now go do..._something_ that robots do without interrupting me." He finished, waving his free hand in a shooing motion.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

It was silent after that, and the Iron Avenger and god of Mischief stood awkwardly in the living room, facing each other but not speaking.

...

...

...

"..._Ssssooo_," Tony said. "Wanna catch a flick?"

* * *

Loki scoffed at him. "Do you _jest_ with me?"

Tony shook his head. "Nope, not at all. Just figured I'd give it a shot. So, we on? They've got the new Planet of the Apes playing."

Hey; it worked with Pepper. Why wouldn't it work with him?

"And you think this..._dull_, _human_ activity will keep my mind from wandering back to the safety of my-"

"_Our_."

"_Fine, '_our_'_ Pepper?" He finished, jaw tight with annoyance but tone hopeful.

Tony placed his hands behind his back, crossing his fingers. "I guarantee it."

Loki thought it over.

"..._Fine_," he said finally, and Tony clapped his hands together in victory. "But I _highly_ doubt I will be entertained by a planet run by _apes_."

"Great, so we're all in agreeance. Now let's do it," Tony said, ushering him into the elevator. "A giant movie theater, dirty bathrooms, overpriced popcorn; it'll be fun."

"You really should toss out more of your funny remarks, Stark; that's all they're good for."

"Yes, well. You know. Here at Stark Industries, we try our best to achieve customer satisfaction; but in your case, we'll make an exception."

"Are you being _smart_ with me?"

"Sarcasm is just one more service we offer."

* * *

Three hours later, Tony and Loki returned from their theatric adventure.

Happy stared at them as they walked up to the Tower's entrance, giving a double-take as he noticed the demigod's much happier demeanor.

Tony tossed him the keys to the Ferrari as Loki ascended in the elevator and he made his way down to the basement. "Thanks for keepin' tabs, bud."

Happy fumbled to catch the small, jingling objects as they bounced off his chest, and he ungracefully spun around to call after his employer.

"Movies again, sir?"

"You know it."

Tony continued to the basement, not looking at Happy as he descended the stairs.

"Works every time."

* * *

**A/N: Well, there it is. Please forgive any typos that escaped my 3 proof-readings. I hope I haven't lost my touch. But even if I have, I have every intention of seeing this through, hopefully at a _much_ faster pace now that I have a keyboard :D**

**Up next is: Nicknames  
**

**Reviews, thoughts, suggestions for other Pepper pairings, or even flames are welcome. They let me know you care :')**

**'Til next time!**


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